The American Civil War Game

Has everyone seen that story a couple days back where the ex-soviet/ex-KGB PhD guy predicted the U.S. would break up in 2010? His map wasn't very good (Apparently Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, and Las Vegas will want to form a country with Salt Lake City).. So the game is: Make your own map of the U.S. breaking up, it can be serious or stupid.

The ex-KGB guy's map:

Mine


The Empty Republic will collapse/die out due to a lack of people and abundance of room and be conquered by either The Doctor-Assisted Suicide, Abortion, Legal Drugs, Sodomy, Transexual, and Northern Mexico Republic, The United States of Mexico and Associated Caucasians, or The Incredibly Sexy People Republic, Git-R-Done will have its own civil war and be taken over either by the sexy people, the swamp/dixie people, or the people's republic.
The Doctor-Assisted Suicide, Abortion, Legal Drugs, Sodomy, Transexual,
and Northern Mexico Republic and The United States of Mexico and
Associated Caucasians will go to war over who gets to take over Mexico.
The Incredibly Sexy People Republic and the People's Republic of I Can't Think of a Name will end up either joining forces and taking over Canada or will both join Canada or just form a single country.
The Swamps and Dixie or w/e Republic will possibly take over the carribean nations and/or have an additional civil war and fall to other countries.
Alaska will export oil and wolf meat, Sarah Palin will be named either Queen, Empress, or The White Witch of Narnia.
Resulting in 3-5 countries and Alaska.

Here's my map


These explanations are pretty lame, but I had a fun time writing them


California gets really pissed off at the US for being so lame, and OC becomes the capital
Alaska sells itself back to russia. Russians realize that there was good reason for selling the land to the us.
The yellow states decide to form together because california seceded from the union and they always do what CA does
They flood wyoming after discovering it's useless
The brown states just get pissed off that they were forced to stay with New York
Texas decides to become a super state and form with the other lavender states.
Blagoavitch sells out Illinois to highest bidder
Washington DC finally realizes how pointless florida is and sends it to the bottom of the ocean
The green states were to lazy to secede.
Hawaii sells itself to CA.

these aren't funny at all:

Crushed at her defeat in the recent election, Sarah Palin forced Alaska to secede from the union by using her ever-powerful army of Alaskan Moose. This resulted in the People's Republic Of Palin

She then launched an attack on the home state of Barack Obama, Illinois. She sent her moose army all the way through Canada into Illinois. Upon reaching the midwest, all the moose died of fatigue and were promptly sold to Thailand.

Thailand took this as a sign of hostility and promptly conquered the entire Midwest. (Elective Dictatorship of Thailand)

This gave the mountain men in Pennsylvania an idea. They revolted and conquered several states, creating Mountainia.

Since the northeast was now cut of from what remained of America, NJ and NY banded together to form The Republic of Awesomeness.

However, this left the rest of the northeast all alone. They cried about it for awhile and then fought back by forming the Coalition of The Neglected Northeast.

In the northwest, University of Oregon realized it could use it's powerful legacy to bring back the ghost of Steve Prefontaine and slowly conquer the world.

Texas and some other states were now the only remaining pieces of the US. They decided to just form a new country, and Fast Food Nation was born.

Meanwhile, a volcanic sinkhole engulfed all of the southeast and Hawaii.

Northeast and midwest, bible belt, pacific northwest

come back to daddy

whenhen wrote:
Blagoavitch sells out Illinois to highest bidder

HAAAAAAAAA

5 bucks when he runs for reelection, the person he loses to is just as bad as him. Our previous governor was also a criminal and the one before that wanted to make a holiday honoring scientology or its founder or something like that.

So First Washington, Oregon, Minnesota, Colorado and northern Cali form to make pure awesomness. Southern cali breaks off because not only does it suck, it was bound to happen anyways.

Hawaii and Alaska melt and become flooded due to global warming, and sarah palin.

Utah converts nevada and southern idaho to mormanism to form the republic of mormans A.k.A polygamy and incest.

The big volcano under yellowstone erupts and kills everyone there.

The midwest just eats corn and waits for their slow and boring life to end.

The South rises again....The cable guy becomes their president. Bill engval is their V.P.

Florida floats to cuba, no loss to the U.S

Texas becomes their own fat nation.

Arizona and New mexico goes back to Mexico, their rightful owners.

New York blows its self up and the rest of New England... eh couldn't think of anything for them.

Pinthin wrote:
Utah converts nevada and southern idaho to mormanism to form the republic of mormans A.k.A incest.

psh rednecks are incest.
mormons are polygamists lol.

alex-likes-running wrote:[quote="Pinthin
Utah converts nevada and southern idaho to mormanism to form the republic of mormans A.k.A incest.

psh rednecks are incest.
mormons are polygamists lol.[/quote]

yeah but I'm sure there is some Incest in there...

[quote="Pinthin"]

So First Washington, Oregon, Minnesota, Colorado and northern Cali form to make pure awesomness. Southern cali breaks off because not only does it suck, it was bound to happen anyways.

The midwest just eats corn and waits for their slow and boring life to end. [quote]
^^and drinks milk!!! haha
pshh, haha how is Minnesota (from the Midwest so purely awesome) and Wisconsin is not?
bahahaha

[quote="xc running gal"][quote="Pinthin"]

So First Washington, Oregon, Minnesota, Colorado and northern Cali form to make pure awesomness. Southern cali breaks off because not only does it suck, it was bound to happen anyways.

The midwest just eats corn and waits for their slow and boring life to end.

^^and drinks milk!!! haha
pshh, haha how is Minnesota (from the Midwest so purely awesome) and Wisconsin is not?
bahahaha

haha I like Minnesota more because of all the lakes and Duluth. Wisconsin was okay, from what I experienced it was just kinda boring. But I guess they can be considered because cheese is amazing.

These are ridiculous.

FinishingKick wrote:These are ridiculous.

haha agreed