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I laughed for real at that one. That's funny.alex-likes-running wrote:Whats the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
- Spoiler:
+13
AudienceOfOne
Pinthin
Running With Scissors
amherst_xc
FinishingKick
eternally_running
iWearNikes
Hurdle-Gurl
Just Because
runner_dude
baby got track
hxc
alex-likes-running
17 posters
The Joke Thread!!!
baby got track- Elite
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Location : SPARTAAAA!!!!! (NJ, not Greece)
Class : 2011
5000m XC Time : 22:42
Registration date : 2008-06-25
amherst_xc- All-Pro
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Age : 31
Location : Ohio
Class : Junior
800m Time : 2:15
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Half-Marathon Time : 9000
Registration date : 2008-06-19
whats the difference between a dead baby and a person who loves dead baby jokes?
- Spoiler:
- the dead baby used to have a brain.
FinishingKick- Admin
- Number of posts : 4773
Age : 31
Location : New York
Mile Time : 4:52
Class : Sophomore
800m Time : 2:10
5000m XC Time : 17:29
1000m Time : 2:50
Registration date : 2008-05-22
Not really a joke but my school has a section on the website for questions and there are some absolute gems.
Hi, my child unfortunately does not have the time to do summer reading this year and she is very worried about an writing assignment for English that may be assigned at the beginning of the year for summer reading. being that she does not have the time will there be alternative assignment for her and any other students that have not done summer reading?
i am so mad how come we have to read to books to read for the summer we too have lives outside of school why can't we just read one it ruined my entire summer vacation PLEASE ANSWER!!!!!!
WHAT IS THE DEAL??? WE HAVE NOT GOTTEN TEACHER ASSIGNMENTS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL YET !!! THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MAILED OUT ON TUESDAY AND STILL NOTHING. PLEASE ANSWER THIS. IT IS RIDICULOUS THAT WE HAVE TO WAIT THIS LONG AND IT IS A MAJOR INCONVENIENCE HAVING SUCH A SHORT TIME TO GET THE SUPPLIES THAT THE TEACHERS ASK FOR. SO MUCH FOR THE GENERIC LIST. FOR A DISTRICT THAT CLAIMS TO BE ALMIGHTY ... THIS IS CRAZY
Just Because- Pro
- Number of posts : 496
Age : 31
Registration date : 2008-06-03
Why should you never throw rocks at a Black person on a bike?
- Spoiler:
- That bike is probably yours
Running With Scissors- Admin
- Number of posts : 4345
Age : 31
Location : Pennsylvania
Mile Time : 4:42
Class : 2010
5000m XC Time : 16:45
Registration date : 2008-05-22
What can a pizza do that a black person can't?
Why does Alabama have black people and California earthquakes?
Why are black people like sperm?
- Spoiler:
- Feed a family of four.
Why does Alabama have black people and California earthquakes?
- Spoiler:
- California got to pick first.
Why are black people like sperm?
- Spoiler:
- Only one in a billion actually works.
Pinthin- Elite
- Number of posts : 2888
Age : 32
Location : down by the bay, washington
Mile Time : none
Class : 2010
Registration date : 2008-05-23
FinishingKick wrote:Not really a joke but my school has a section on the website for questions and there are some absolute gems.
Hi, my child unfortunately does not have the time to do summer reading this year and she is very worried about an writing assignment for English that may be assigned at the beginning of the year for summer reading. being that she does not have the time will there be alternative assignment for her and any other students that have not done summer reading?
i am so mad how come we have to read to books to read for the summer we too have lives outside of school why can't we just read one it ruined my entire summer vacation PLEASE ANSWER!!!!!!
WHAT IS THE DEAL??? WE HAVE NOT GOTTEN TEACHER ASSIGNMENTS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL YET !!! THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MAILED OUT ON TUESDAY AND STILL NOTHING. PLEASE ANSWER THIS. IT IS RIDICULOUS THAT WE HAVE TO WAIT THIS LONG AND IT IS A MAJOR INCONVENIENCE HAVING SUCH A SHORT TIME TO GET THE SUPPLIES THAT THE TEACHERS ASK FOR. SO MUCH FOR THE GENERIC LIST. FOR A DISTRICT THAT CLAIMS TO BE ALMIGHTY ... THIS IS CRAZY
haha those actually made me laugh.
alex-likes-running- Global Moderator
- Number of posts : 3314
Age : 32
Location : HK
Class : 2010
800m Time : 2:28
5000m XC Time : 20:36
Half-Marathon Time : 1:50
Registration date : 2008-05-22
How do you stop a black guy from drowning?
- Spoiler:
- take your foot off his head
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- the boy in my basement
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- stop laughing and reload
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- A good start
iWearNikes- Pro
- Number of posts : 423
Age : 32
Location : Ohio
Mile Time : PR=4:54
Class : 2010
5000m XC Time : 18:30
Registration date : 2008-08-02
alex-likes-running wrote:How do you stop a black guy from drowning?Whats black and blue and doesnt like sex?
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What do you do when you see a black guy running around with half his face blown off?
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What do you call a hundered black guys dead in the bottom of the ocean?
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- Spoiler:
soo bad...yet so funny
AudienceOfOne- Admin
- Number of posts : 5377
Age : 31
Location : Nati fo eva
Class : 2011
3200m Time : 10:17
Registration date : 2008-05-24
you guys are horrible.
Running With Scissors- Admin
- Number of posts : 4345
Age : 31
Location : Pennsylvania
Mile Time : 4:42
Class : 2010
5000m XC Time : 16:45
Registration date : 2008-05-22
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
What would Martin Luther King be if he was white?
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
- Spoiler:
- Fucked.
What would Martin Luther King be if he was white?
- Spoiler:
- Alive.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
- Spoiler:
- Art.
Last edited by Running With Scissors on Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:16 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Because one was already said.)
alex-likes-running- Global Moderator
- Number of posts : 3314
Age : 32
Location : HK
Class : 2010
800m Time : 2:28
5000m XC Time : 20:36
Half-Marathon Time : 1:50
Registration date : 2008-05-22
Whats the difference between my drive way and a 4 year old?
- Spoiler:
- I dont get arrested for pulling out of my driveway
Lily- Pro
- Number of posts : 462
Age : 30
Location : New Jersey
Mile Time : 5:56
Class : 2011
800m Time : 2:34
5000m XC Time : 20:45
Registration date : 2008-11-27
joke i loved in second grade:
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
- Spoiler:
- NACHO CHEESE!!
runner_dude- Elite
- Number of posts : 1524
Age : 33
Location : Nova Scotia
Mile Time : 4:52
Class : University Freshman
Registration date : 2008-06-05
What do you tell a girl with two black eyes?
- Spoiler:
- Nothing, you already told her twice!
running_violet- All-Pro
- Number of posts : 930
Age : 29
Location : cold cold Wisconsin
Mile Time : 5:42
Class : 2013
5000m XC Time : 20:13 (road race)
Registration date : 2008-06-24
wow, these are soo bad.
haha, i still laugh though
my brother LOVES dead baby jokes. haha they're soo vicious.
haha, i still laugh though
my brother LOVES dead baby jokes. haha they're soo vicious.
alex-likes-running- Global Moderator
- Number of posts : 3314
Age : 32
Location : HK
Class : 2010
800m Time : 2:28
5000m XC Time : 20:36
Half-Marathon Time : 1:50
Registration date : 2008-05-22
Why do black people have light palms?
- Spoiler:
- Everybody's got to have some good in them
- Spoiler:
- When God painted them, they were on all fours
iWearNikes- Pro
- Number of posts : 423
Age : 32
Location : Ohio
Mile Time : PR=4:54
Class : 2010
5000m XC Time : 18:30
Registration date : 2008-08-02
wats the difference between a baby and a trampoline
wats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies
wats the best part of doing 23 year olds
how is bungee jumping like getting head from an old lady
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- you take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline
wats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies
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- i dont have a corvette in my garage
wats the best part of doing 23 year olds
- Spoiler:
- theres 20 of them
how is bungee jumping like getting head from an old lady
- Spoiler:
- it feels good until you look down
iWearNikes- Pro
- Number of posts : 423
Age : 32
Location : Ohio
Mile Time : PR=4:54
Class : 2010
5000m XC Time : 18:30
Registration date : 2008-08-02
oh i forgot one:
why do black people drive with thier left hand and lean inwards
why do black people drive with thier left hand and lean inwards
- Spoiler:
- they think the smell is coming from the outside
eternally_running- All-Pro
- Number of posts : 669
Registration date : 2008-07-08
These are horrible! lol, but they are hillarious.. 
Running With Scissors- Admin
- Number of posts : 4345
Age : 31
Location : Pennsylvania
Mile Time : 4:42
Class : 2010
5000m XC Time : 16:45
Registration date : 2008-05-22
Can't think of anything so I googled these:
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found
__________________________________________________
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
________________________________________________________
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
_____________________________________________________
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found
- Spoiler:
- a brand new bathroom scale.
__________________________________________________
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
________________________________________________________
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
_____________________________________________________
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
runner_dude- Elite
- Number of posts : 1524
Age : 33
Location : Nova Scotia
Mile Time : 4:52
Class : University Freshman
Registration date : 2008-06-05
A baby seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks "What can I get for you?"
The seal replies "Anything but a Canadian Club"
The seal replies "Anything but a Canadian Club"
alex-likes-running- Global Moderator
- Number of posts : 3314
Age : 32
Location : HK
Class : 2010
800m Time : 2:28
5000m XC Time : 20:36
Half-Marathon Time : 1:50
Registration date : 2008-05-22
Two boys are celebrating Christmas. One has 20 gifts, and the other has 1. The boy with 20 gifts says to the other, "Haha, you only have 1 gift". The boy with 1 present responds, "Haha, you have cancer".
lol i thought it was funny
lol i thought it was funny
Wgrt- All-Pro
- Number of posts : 507
Registration date : 2008-09-01
The cartoon for that is so mcuh better
alex-likes-running- Global Moderator
- Number of posts : 3314
Age : 32
Location : HK
Class : 2010
800m Time : 2:28
5000m XC Time : 20:36
Half-Marathon Time : 1:50
Registration date : 2008-05-22
theres a cartoon for it?? put it up lol, i wanna see. i just heard it today so i didnt know.
alex-likes-running- Global Moderator
- Number of posts : 3314
Age : 32
Location : HK
Class : 2010
800m Time : 2:28
5000m XC Time : 20:36
Half-Marathon Time : 1:50
Registration date : 2008-05-22
i was just browsing an off-topic forum that i go to occasionally and i found a funny quote by some random guy that went "Islam is a cancer upon this planet. America is chemotherapy."
i thought it was funny.
i thought it was funny.
mary XC- Pro
- Number of posts : 267
Age : 28
Location : South Carolina
Mile Time : 6:01 (hopefully sub 6 soon!)
Class : 8th grade
800m Time : 2:47.47
5000m XC Time : 21:17
Registration date : 2008-05-31
iWearNikes wrote:why doesn't mexico have an olympic team...
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umm wouldnt that be cuba???
oh well its still funny
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